Traditionally, response cards were not included in wedding invitations. Guests were expected to write a note on a sheet of their own stationery letting the hosts know if they would be attending or not. Eventually, bride's started to include a response card with their invitations to encourage guests to reply. These cards were blank or printed with one sentence such as, "the favour of your reply is requested by June 1st.) In more recent times, reply cards have become standard. These cards are basically fill in the blank style and ask guests for their name, whether or not they are coming, how many people are coming and potentially may even ask for entrée selections.
In the last couple of years we are starting to see another shift in the response card trends. Many couples, in their desire to be eco-friendly, are doing RSVP postcards or skipping the insert altogether and asking guests to reply online.
As I mentioned in the last article, I think that what you do for your reply cards is up to how strictly you want to follow etiquette. I would suggest that if you plan to have guests reply online, that you have at least a small number of traditional style reply cards to include in the invitations going out to your less tech-savvy guests. If you choose to do a reply card with an envelope or an rsvp postcard, make sure to stamp them!
Here are a couple of answers to questions that I am frequently asked about rsvp cards:
We don't want children at the wedding, how can we politely let our guests know?
The correct etiquette around this questions would be that you would address your envelopes only to those people who are invited and your guests should know that if a child's name was not listed, that the child is not invited. If that is not realistic for your situation, I would recommend including a "number attending" line on your reply card. This way, if you have invited 2 guests and they reply that 3 are coming, you can address the issue before the wedding. Alternately, you can put a small statement on the reply card such as, "due to space limitations, no children please."
Who should the rsvp card go back to?
The correct etiquette answer would be that whoever is hosting the event would receive the reply cards. These days I am seeing a lot of Bride and Grooms who want the cards to return to them, even if their parents are technically hosting (paying) for the wedding.
What does RSVP mean? What does the M stand for?
RSVP is French and stands for Responde Sil Vous Plait which means please respond. The M that comes before the line for your guests names is where they would put in Mr. or Mrs. If you don't like this, you could alternately put Name:________